"Cyclocross, a sport that combines aspects of mountain biking, steeplechasing and Nascar auto racing, is beginning to develop a following in the U.S. after decades of popularity in Europe."

-- The New York Times, May 1999

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An unprecedented number of applications have recently been received by SPACEY, the Society for the Proliferation of Alternative Cross-over Exercise, Yo! This was announced by chairman Herb Mulligan, better known as 'The Sprich,' after the game he created that requires chess players to sprint around the board between moves and which, according to his bio notes, "has gained substantial popularity in the village of Sprichgen in Sweden." The latest applicants include the following:

Sport name: Flimby
Creators: Desmond and Donald Greggerson. Pittsburgh, Philadelphia
History: "In order to spend more time together, my father and I came up with flimby, which combines his passion (fly-fishing) with mine (throwing a Frisbee). To achieve the perfect flimby, something we've done only twice in six years, you have to hook the saucer midflight. Almost as gratifying is a half-flimby, which is done by knocking the Frisbee off balance with any part of the rod, fly or line. Dad once threw his tackle box at it, although that didn't count. He missed anyway, after which he introduced a new rule: Flimby cannot be played anywhere near Dad's new car."

Sport name: The Hub
Creators: Theo Hubbell and friends. Salinas, Kansas
History: "The guys and me were sitting around talking about whether Tae-Bo did or didn't include eating Chinese takeout afterward, when Ben Manning said that his idea of mixing sports was the movie Baseketball. That started us all thinking about ways to play our favorite sports - bowling and watching football - at the same time. The owners of Merle's Mall refused to put a video screen above the lanes and we couldn't afford to build an alley in the trailer park, which is when the obvious solution hit me. Why not just bowl with a football? Arnie Schumann was the first one to get a strike, although that's probably because of him being a fullback in high school and all. It was quite a sight seeing those pins fly, let me tell you, even though it cost us $467 to repair the alley. In case you're wondering about the name, it's because we couldn't agree on one of two other choices - footbowl or strike-down."

Sport name: Surfle
Creator: Barney 'Yogi' Matthews. San Diego, California
History: "I first got the idea for surfle after I smoked some strange stuff on a beach in Goa twenty years ago. The whole thing kind of came to me in a vision. I was watching this surfer take a huge wave, and all of a sudden I could've sworn he was Arnold Palmer. That's when it hit me: surfle (although I first thought of it as gorfing, or the 18-hole pipeline). Basically what happens is that you tee off from your surfboard, which you can do midwave (crest-surfling) or while resting on flat water (doldrumming). Your handicap on land is determined by how far you can carry your board across the greens. Though I personally have never surfled, nor seen anyone else do it, I have designed a board inside of which you can store your clubs for easier mobility."

Sport name: Transbloccer
Creator: Meredith 'The Hatchet' Mahoney. Pixie, Minnesota
History: "The beauty of transbloccer (or transbloc, as we aficionados have come to call it) is its simplicity. Once I tell you what it is, you'll say, "Why didn't I think of that?" Well, here goes. Transbloccer follows the same rules as soccer, except there's only six people on a side and you have to wear inline skates. If that sounds similar to rollerbockey (itself, we believe, a rather poor attempt to mix baseball and rollerhockey), that's not where the story ends. You have to play transbloccer on ice (kind of like icebockey, but without the bats). Fun, huh? Wait until you've tried it - you'll be hooked. Anyone who wants to transbloc in summer or hasn't got access to year-round ice only needs to find an empty swimming pool and a few cans of car oil.
"P.S. Harry's Motor Spares in downtown Pixie has already approached us to sponsor team sweatshirts."

Sport name: Yombing
Creator: Budd Bratsky. Boulder, Colorado
History: "My wife Gladys and I have been yombing for years now. You might have heard of mountain biking while playing with a yo-yo, but for it to qualify as a proper yomb, it must be done only on the ascent. My cousin Al created a break-off group five years ago -we've never spoken since - that allows you to do it while going downhill, although to any serious yomber that's nothing more than a simple domb. If there's any doubt about who you're dealing with - yomber or domber - you can recognize us from the size of our thighs. My children have grown up on yombing, and as the head of the Yombing Association for the Southwest I can tell you that there was no prouder moment for me than when I watched my son cycle up a 400-yard, 45-degree slope manipulating no less than two yo-yos, one from between his teeth. As Budd Junior would say, 'Yomb on, dude!'"

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Submitted to The New Yorker, and rejected with the standard rejection letter: "We're sorry to say that this manuscript is not right for us, in spite of its evident merit. Unfortunately, we are receiving so many submissions that it is impossible for us to reply more specifically. We thank you for the chance to consider your work. The Editors."

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